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Feel it, ALL.

Vulnerable

Why does society teach us NOT to talk about our problems?  Why on earth are we taught to hold things in?!  By nature, I am a very shy and often times private person, so holding my feelings in comes as no chore to me.  I believe that society teaches us this so that we escape from getting hurt but it actually causes more hurt.  But the older I get, the more I realize how absolutely detrimental that is. Especially since I’ve stepped up my yoga game hardcore recently.

I’ve been doing yoga now for 6 years but over the last year, I’ve made it a commitment to do yoga more on a consistent basis and I can feel when my body is craving it.  I commit to 1 to 3 times a week. In the past, I would go a few times a month, but it was random. Of course, schedules matter but I’ve found that when I make time for yoga, my life is instantly better.

Holding feelings in are not good for you! A lot of my held in feelings come out on my yoga mat and through my practice. In yoga, they always say “let it go, breath into the areas where you feel pain and let the breath take over.” HA! Like that EVER works for me. I literally have to shut my brain down just to complete that “simple” task. I cannot even let things go in real life and you want me to let it go in yoga?!

Being a naturally shy and quiet person I already have a hard time expressing what is on my mind to others and often times to myself.  I have lied to myself numerous times, telling myself “I’m fine!” When in reality, I wasn’t fine.  Being that we’re taught to not speak of our struggles, all of this holding stuff in was a piece of cake to me J!

Okay, not good, not good, I know.  I have been hearing so much recently to just allow whatever emotions you are feeling at the time, to come, don’t hold back. Yeah I’m not always at the front of the line for that show.  I always find it a hard time to be empathetic sometimes because of my own wall that I’ve built and re-built over the years to protect myself from getting hurt. Honestly, I do come off as very, very guarded, but it’s just me protecting myself from all of the hurt that I am envisioning that could go down. Ah, a planner by nature as well. Perfectionist, shy, quiet and planner – horrible combo ;).

Vulnerable 2

Yoga and Personal Development have both been helping me in their own way with being less guarded and more open. I want to allow myself to feel it and to feel it ALL!  I mean isn’t that what life is all about?  I am striving to be more empathetic and to not immediately put my wall up when someone is sharing their emotions with me.  Being closed off and guarded causes countless issues. I myself am an emotional eater because I don’t talk about my feelings, I eat them.  I believe the fact that society teaches us to hold our feelings in is the reason why we have obesity problems, eating disorders, addictions, personality issues and countless other issues that can be prevented if tackled head on in the infant stages by TALKING IT OUT. Yes, talk about your feelings, it’s the only way. So many arguments stem from others NOT talking about their feelings and assuming something about the other party when in reality, it’s all a miscommunication because someone didn’t say how they really feel. Or if they, the other party didn’t interpret it because they are extremely guarded and anything related to emotions forces them to run for the hills. HELLO that is ME L.

I know being more open and less guarded will benefit me down the road and will make me a better person. It’s just that I am so comfortable in my safety zone and am afraid to venture out into the unknown of being open.  I mean we fear what we don’t know, right?! Yup, that’s me! I fear to be more open with my family and friends and relationships.  Whomp, whomp.  Being open means what?!  In my mind, it means that I open myself up to get hurt and I just won’t have that!  But in reality, being more open is great and being vulnerable is the best thing for you.  Yes, you will get hurt because we’re human and we hurt each other, we cannot help it.  But you know what?! Being open and vulnerable will get you further in life than being guarded and closed off. BAM! I just schooled myself J

I am making a promise to you my readers and myself that I am going to be more vulnerable and open with others. It’s just the way it has to be. Point blank. End of story.

Vulnerable 3

3 Comments

  1. Yoga makes me feel so amazing! You go!!

  2. I really related to this post. I have a hard time being open as well. For some reason I’m able to do it online, but struggle with it during an in-person encounter. Thanks for sharing!

    1. No problem 🙂

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